Editor’s note: Welcome to our new section, Reality AF. Every Monday, Terry Terrones will check in and talk about the state of reality TV, as well as providing a list of the top 5 events not to miss this week.
Climb to the right and place your bets! Now is the time to see if you can predict what Married at first sight The San Diego couple will live happily ever after, and what a terrible human being will become a viral meme that we can all laugh about later.
During last week’s 2-hour matchmaking special, which was more of a Season 15 premiere than a “special,” viewers watched the highly complex process relationship experts Pastor Cal and Lilliputian Dr. Pepper used. to match 10 new singles. This included asking hard-hitting questions such as “Why do you think you are ready for marriage?” and “What are you looking for in a spouse?” while Dr Pepper does his favorite move: rummaging through underwear drawers.
To assess Cal and Pepper’s selections, I brought in my own relationship expert: my wife Andrea. We’ve been married for 18 years so I trust her judgment. That said, she’s a special education teacher and not a TV writer, so I think I have an edge when betting on which couples will be successful.
Here’s a look at each couple and a public record of our bets so I can have bragging rights months from now. I’ve included age, profession, their chyrons, and the experts’ thoughts on their matches:
(28 years old, logistics specialist, passionate)
(33, Digital Marketer, Towering Teddy Bear)
Experts said: We think Alexis’ fun and positive energy will be just what Justin needs to feel supported and valued as they build their lives together.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. But his energy might be too high for his cold demeanor.
Terry’s bet: Well done, but I’m only basing it on his chyron. When you’re labeled a “passionate powerhouse,” that seems like a polite way of saying someone’s a jerk. She also gives me Michaela Clarke of MAFS Houston vibes. Not good.
(32 years old, sales representative, bold and dedicated)
and Mitch (41, environmental policy advocate, rebel with a cause)
Experts said: We think their similar life philosophies, love of the outdoors, and outgoing personalities will create the perfect California couple.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. A good match as they both do yoga.
Terry’s bet: Is that your reasoning?!? I give them a thumbs up. She is too outgoing for Mr. Environment, who is bald. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
(27 years old, registered nurse, strong and independent)
and Binh (29, engineer, The Mama’s Boy)
Experts said: We think Morgan and Binh will appreciate each other’s practical sensibilities. These two are both ready to fight for love.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. I think they will have good chemistry. Financially and physically, they complement each other.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs up for three reasons, all on Binh. Haven’t you seen his chyron? He’s a mama’s boy. What woman wants to compete with a guy’s mother? Moreover, Binh is screwed. This type of conditioning takes a lot of time and effort and focuses on yourself, not anyone else. And finally, Binh has been called “frugal” many times, which means he is cheap. Three shots, Binh is eliminated. Sorry Morgana.
(37, accountant and real estate investor, BO$$ Lady)
(34 years old, Day Trader, Hustler with a heart)
Experts said: These two are both ambitious and driven to pursue what they want. And their shared vision of a future family will surely put them on the path to happiness.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs down. He seems superficial, she seems motivated. Not a powerful couple, a powerless couple.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs down. In fact, this pair gets my vote for worst game of the season. He practically has “PLAYER” tattooed on his forehead and I think Stacia will read it from the jump because Nate loves turtlenecks and says all the right things insincerely. I’d be surprised if she didn’t bounce back by week eight.
(29, physical therapist, The Over-Thinker)
(35, medical writer, starry-eyed scribe)
Experts said: We believe Miguel’s masculine yet sensitive nature will be the perfect balance for Lindy’s lively personality. And that their mutual passion for adventure and more traditional ideas of romance make these two a dynamic duo that will go the distance.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs down. She’s too bubbly and outgoing for a cerebral, nerdy guy.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs up. I mean no because I thought Miguel and Morgan would have been a better match because she likes nerds, but I guess I have to pick at least a couple to do it. That and I really like Miguel, he gives me Gil vibes.
5 reality shows to watch this week
1. Sailboat under the bridge (Bravo, June 27)
Why you should watch it: The first part of a two-part reunion episode airs tonight. If you love watching Gary “The Kissing Bandit” King squirm, here’s your chance as he’ll be up against all four (4!) of the women he’s kissed this charter season. That and those reunion episodes are your only Under the bridge hotfix until the start of Med on July 11.
2. weakest link (NBC, June 27)
Why you should watch it: To whom does the brain bank have to pay overdraft fees? Who thinks Ted Lasso is a series of web talks for cowboys? That would be you if you didn’t watch this quiz comedy. I will never stop singing the praises of this show hosted by Jane Lynch.
3. Chopped: desperately looking for a sous chef (Food Network, June 28)
Why you should watch it: Four champions return to the hash kitchen to compete for a sous chef position for judges Maneet Chauhan, Scott Conant and Chris Santos in the finale. In the baskets tonight, a Neapolitan specialty (pizza?) and a smelly fruit. Yum! The winner will review the job offers of the three judges and make a big decision.
4. more power (Story, season premiere June 29)
Why you should watch it: Get ready for some manly grunts as Tim Allen, Richard Karn and April Wilkerson celebrate the coolest, most powerful and most iconic tools.
5. Me or the Menu (Food Network, season premiere June 30)
Why you should watch it: Check out this description for a divorce in this show from the producers of 90 day fiance: “four restaurateurs meet the challenges of opening their first restaurant with their loved ones.” Ha! Suction cups !
Terry Terrones is a member of the Television Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association, licensed drone pilot and aspiring hand model.
When he’s not applying Survivor, you can find it hiking in the mountains of Colorado. You can follow him on Twitter @terryterrones.
For all the latest TV news, reviews, lists and features, follow @Paste_TV.